Kids came home today and I always get so excited. When they visit their A-father I get anxious all week. I don't know if they are safe. I don't know what decisions he makes to make sure they are safe (drinking and driving; drinking to excess when they are sleeping... the list goes on). I so badly want him to be a good father, but he continually makes decisions that hurt our kids. I want and do believe that it is the alcohol. I do believe deep down he wants to be a good dad and has the potential to be a good dad, but his kids don't come first. Alcohol and sex do.

It is amazing how young the kids pick up on the fact that they are not a priority to him. My son wants his dad's attention so badly. He wants to learn football and baseball from his dad. He wants his dad to spend one on one time with him. My girls want to be his princesses again. Another woman has taken that spot in his life and they feel it. They resent her for it. When he started seeing someone new he did not take it slowly. She started sleeping over the minute they started dating and he had the kids. It is amazing the damage that two grown adults can do to innocent children when they make selfish decisions and don't think about how their behavior can affect what they think of the adults in their lives. Alcoholism affects not just the alcoholic but so many people. It is a family disease. It is a disease that will deeply affect everyone it touches. I will never date an alcoholic or addict again. If you are... RUN! Don't walk and get out of there. Save yourself!